Fading Friendships
In Samuel Johnson’s work, The Decay of Friendship, he wrote that “The most fatal disease of friendship is gradual decay.” Indeed, finding out a close friend becomes distant is disheartening. Recently, I tried to contact those good old bosom friends back from my high-school days, but to no avail; thus, I realized that these friendships have already deteriorated beyond mend. It’s true that there is no friendship that can last for eternity, and the end of it is inevitable. Seeing it happen did make me depressed. However, the failed attempt to contact old friends gave me a perfect opportunity to take a deep ponder. What led to my decayed friendships?
Undoubtedly, the long absence was a key factor in why my friends and I lost touch. Since my friends and I all graduated from high school, we had different paths in our lives. Some chose to work, others chose to study in colleges, while a few chose to study overseas. We are separated by different environments. In this case, we had a hard time keeping in touch because we could barely meet each other as we used to do in high school. Though we could communicate through the internet, it was hard for us to maintain friendships with different time schedules and physical distance, which made us disconnected. For this reason, separation became a formidable obstacle that faded away from my friends and me.
Another critical reason why my friends and I became distant is divergent interests. It goes without saying that interest is one of the important factors that make people gather. People get together and befriend each other due to similar interests; my friends and I were no exception. However, as we grew and experienced different events in our lives, we may shift our interests. When my friends and I had no common interests, I found it hard to relate to their experiences. For example, I was more interested in art and movies while my friends were more interested in automobiles. I had difficulties engaging in meaningful conversations with my friends, therefore our friendships became hollow and drifted apart. It’s impossible to maintain friendships with conversations that lack depth.
Apart from different interests, another factor that contributed to the deterioration of friendships was the fact that friends can be easily replaced. People can always find new alternative friends with similar interests and experiences. If a person starts to spend time with their new group of friends, it results in a decrease in time spent with their old friends since he or she prioritizes their new group of friends. In my case, some of my old friends spend most of their time hanging around with their current friends instead of me, and it did negatively influence our friendships. Due to less time spent together, the friendships declined and even went to an end. It’s important for friends to invent time to stick around to maintain friendships.
In a nutshell, the decay of friendships is caused by various reasons. While the end of a friendship is destined, it’s essential to know what leads to deterioration. In my personal experience, the long absence and divergent interests are two fatal factors why my friends and I lost touch eventually. Besides long absences and different interests, the fact that friends are easily disposable is the reason for the ultimate decay of friendships. Despite my old friends and I being no longer intimate, I treasure those good old times they gave me. It’s never anyone’s fault for the end of a friendship. People move on to their new friends; my friends and I are not excluded. However, it’s crucial that we value the friendships that can stand the test of time and make efforts to sustain them.
Reference
Samuel Johnson (1821). The Rambler.